Turning into a real complainer

I'm ready to quit. Not sure why I havent yet. Working nights is insane. It's not natural. Plus I still feel like a total fucking idiot and shitty nurse. I'm slow, I'm bumbling, I don't know where to find the right answers to my questions. My IV skills seem to be getting worse. I had a good catch the other night: An older patient in for a sorethroat and fever (like 103) was going to get discharged. I go to get him ready and he's pretty darn sweaty. I let the doc know, he's all "no biggie". I go back, guys like even more sweaty, I ask the doc to come look at him at least before he goes. Guy stands up and has some stridor, and is like dripping sweat. Docs decide to do a CT before he goes- low and behold he winds up having epiglottitis! One way ticket to the ICU. But so far that feels like just about the only thing I can be proud of. Every other moment I feel stupid and substandard and stressed and like I want to just go home and cry. So...yay! Off to another shift.

OMG another first, they just keep coming

As I type this it is 3am. I have been up since 610am. I am preparing for my first ever night shift, tomorrow night, later today? I'm not even sure anymore. I'm so disoriented. Not sure how I will function tomorrow (today). In an effort to stay up here is some stuff that happened last Friday:

Had a patient with a C7 fracture, dementia, but a+ox3 more or less. He was uncomfortable but doing okay with his head somewhat propped up on a few sheets. When the doctor came in and ordered the pt to lie completely flat, this completely sent my patient over the edge. I asked if he would be okay with the couple of sheets since being totally flat was extending his head (in cspine collar) and causing his pain to rise significantly. I may not be a doctor, but it seems to me if putting someone in a certain position causes them to be increasingly agitated/in pain, its probably not a good position for them, even if it goes against cspine precautions. Especially since this caused him to try and sit up, turn, get out of bed. Couldn't convince the doctor of that tho, but eventually me and the nurse I was working with decided that a few sheets to keep him in better alignment was the best move and we did so, patient was much better after that. 

Same day, we had a medical alert patient come in, 30 year old on a ventilator, satting 50s-60s in ambulance. My job should have been to chart, but I immediately got flustered and did nothing! Its definitely not a good sign, I've been there long enough now to do SOMETHING, I would hope. Oh well.